


All That Never Was

by Adorable Blondes (Chloe), bansheequeen (queenbanshee), xtremeroswellian



Category: Chlollie - Fandom, Smallville
Genre: All that never was, Chlollie, F/M, adorable blondes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-01
Updated: 2010-05-07
Packaged: 2017-11-23 11:15:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/621508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chloe/pseuds/Adorable%20Blondes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenbanshee/pseuds/bansheequeen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xtremeroswellian/pseuds/xtremeroswellian





	1. Chapter 1

Title: All That Never Was  
Authors: [](http://chloeas.livejournal.com/profile)[**chloeas**](http://chloeas.livejournal.com/) and [](http://dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com/)**dl_greenarrow**  
Rated: R. Deals with some sensitive subject matters.  
Spoilers: An AU version of "Sacrifice." We wrote most of it before the episode aired, and we went in another direction for this fic.  
Disclaimer: Not ours. Don't sue.

 

 

Oliver pushed his hood back off his head as he dropped into the window of the top story of Watchtower. He pulled off his glasses. He'd spent the evening patrolling and then meeting with Clark--who was acting very awkward around him for some reason that he didn't understand--and now he just wanted to spend some time with his...not-girlfriend. He sighed softly, raking a hand through his hair and heading for the stairs. Halfway down them, he froze in place, staring wide-eyed at the wreck all around. The computer screens were shattered, glass and other debris littering the floor. His heart hammered heavily against his chest as he spotted Chloe lying amongst it, still.

"Oh God." He took the steps two a time, moving to her side, and staring in horror at the blood beneath her head. "No, no. Chloe? Chloe, can you hear me?" He quickly pressed his fingers against her throat, relieved to find a pulse.

Chloe shifted and groaned quietly when she heard his voice, but she couldn't open her eyes, everything hurt and that was pretty much the only thing she knew.

"Chloe, open your eyes," he urged, wincing at the myriad of cuts and bruises on what bare skin he could see. "Open your eyes, Watchtower."

She was trying to, somehow she managed to make sense of his words. For a second, she opened her eyes slightly then closed them again, opening her mouth instead, and whispering quietly.

 

He leaned down closer to her. "I didn't hear you. Don't try to talk. I'm going to get you out of here."

All she could do was close her mouth, swallowing hard and doing her best to try and nod.

Oliver kissed her forehead gently, then as carefully as he could, slid his arms beneath her, lifting her off the cold floor and cradling her against his chest. "Hang on," he whispered. "I've got you."

When he picked her up, Chloe groaned quietly again, her back and stomach suddenly felt like they were on fire, she didn't want to move.

"Sorry," he whispered, carrying her toward the elevators. His mind was racing with questions, but he knew they would have to wait. Right then the only thing that mattered was getting Chloe some help.

She opened her eyes after a moment to look up at him, squinting as she tried to get her vision to focus.

"Stay with me," he murmured, his chest tightening as he looked down at her, waiting for the elevator to reach the ground floor.

"Vic," Chloe whispered, her entire head felt like it was going to explode, she must have hit it hard, so she closed her eyes again for a second, then opened them once more to look at Ollie.

"What about him?" His eyebrows furrowed with worry, wondering if Vic was somewhere inside Watchtower and also injured.

She took a deep breath, "Watch-" she paused, coughing suddenly and it made her entire body hurt.

"Shhh." He winced at the pained expression on her face. "Is Vic inside? Just nod or shake your head."

Chloe closed her eyes and shook her head slowly a couple of times before opening her eyes tiredly to look up at him, hoping that was enough for him to know which one was her answer.

 

"You want him to come and check on your equipment?"

Sighing in relief, she nodded slightly, letting her eyes fall shut once more, "secure," she managed in a very quiet whisper.

He kissed her forehead. "I'll get him on it," he whispered, chest tightening again. He carried her outside, then paused, realizing he was still in his uniform. "I'm still undercover. I'm going to have to call Clark for help. Is that okay?"

Chloe just nodded slightly again, her head getting heavy so she leaned it against his arm and everything went black once more.

* * *

Less than forty minutes later found Oliver hurrying down the hallway at Metropolis General, his heart beating heavily in his chest as he made his way to the nurse's station. "I'm looking for Chloe Sullivan. She was brought here about forty minutes ago."

"Oliver," Clark called, standing up and starting toward him.

"Where is she? Is she all right?" He moved over to where Clark was.

"I haven't heard anything yet," Clark said blankly then frowned, "what happened?"

"I don't know. I just got back from...other responsibilities and found the place trashed. She was unconscious." He swallowed hard.

Clark's jaw tightened and he shook his head, rubbing a hand over the back of his head, "who could have gotten in there?"

"I have no idea. The only ones who even know about the place are the team and Dr. Hamilton and you and the JSA." He forced himself to take a deep breath. "Vic's there now, making sure all the information is secure. Chloe was worried about it."

He paused at that information and squinted at Oliver, "I'll go check the security footage."

"If there is any," he muttered, raking a hand through his hair. "Where is she?"

"I don't know," Clark admitted, "they just took her, I listened for a while but..." he shook his head, swallowing.

His heart dropped. "But what, Clark?"

Clark looked down for a moment and shook his head, "they thought there was internal bleeding, I don't know, I couldn't focus after that."

He swore under his breath, moving away from Clark and to the nurse's station once more. "Where is Chloe Sullivan?" His jaw was tight.

"I'll be back," Clark told Oliver before making his way out of the hospital.

The nurse looked up at the man after a moment and frowned, "are you family?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "She's the only family I have. Where is she?"

She eyed him for a moment then looked over at the charts, "the doctors are still with her, you'll have to wait until one of them come out."

"Do you know who I am?" His voice was very quiet.

The nurse cocked her head, "you can be the Pope, there is nothing I can do for you, you'll have to wait just like everyone else."

His eyes narrowed a little and he gazed at her intently. "The name is Oliver Queen. And you may or may not be aware of this, but I'm currently this hospital's top monetary donator. Now are you going to tell me where Chloe is or am I going to have to find her myself?" His voice was even, matter-of-fact.

Her eyes widened a little and she cleared her throat, "she needed an x-ray, you can't go in there."

"Then I'll wait here until they're done with the x-raying."

 

* * *

About ten minutes later one of the doctors came outside and spoke to the nurse quietly, he nodded slightly then turned to Oliver, "Mr. Queen?"

 

He quickly made his way over to the doctor, the breath catching in his throat. "How is she?"

"She's stable," the doctor said with a nod, "you can see her now."

He shut his eyes, exhaling slowly. "Where is she?"

"She'll be okay, Mr. Queen," the doctor assured him, leading him down the hallway, "she's in the room."

"Is she awake?" Oliver followed closely

 

"Yes, she might be out of it for a while because we gave her painkillers, but it shouldn't knock her out until we give her the next dose," he pushed a door open, but didn't step inside, "let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you," he murmured, stepping into the room, his gaze falling instantly on her still form in the bed. He felt like someone kicked him in the gut. "Chloe?" His voice was barely a whisper.

Chloe blinked when she heard him and turned her head to look at him, trying for a smile, "hey."

 

Oliver slowly moved over to the side of her bed, hesitantly reaching out to take her hand in his. "Are you all right?"

"I can't really feel anything, so I'm great," she joked quietly, her voice tired, "did you talk to Vic?"

"He's there now," he assured her. "Don't worry about anything."

With a sigh, she nodded slowly, giving his hand a soft squeeze and closing her eyes for a second.

 

He gazed at her for a long moment, then leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

Chloe opened her eyes when he pulled away and nodded a little, "they said I'll be fine."

"Thank God," he murmured. "Who did this, Chloe?"

She paused for a moment, looking away then up at him again, "Tess came by for round two," she muttered, making a face, "obviously, she won."

Oliver froze for a moment, staring down at her with wide eyes. "Tess did this to you?" His jaw tightened, anger burning in his chest.

"Hey, I did some damage too," Chloe told him, "if it wasn't for the kick right on the stomach, I would have gotten her."

He winced, then slid his fingers through hers, gently bringing their hands up to his mouth and kissing her knuckles.

 

Chloe sighed softly and squeezed his hand again, "Vic didn't call you desperate because we lost everything, did he? She probably downloaded all the information after she knocked me out, Ollie."

"I haven't heard from him since he got there." He hesitantly sat down on the side of her bed, his eyes filled with worry. "Clark went to check the video feed."

She shook her head, trying to sit up but wincing and stopping herself instead, "he needs to go after her, find out what she knows, steal the pen drive back."

"Hey, easy," he said, his eyes widening a little at the flicker of pain on her face. "You just rest. I'll call him and tell him what we know."

Sighing, Chloe nodded a little and lifted her free hand to her stomach, rubbing it slowly, "okay."

"Are you in a lot of pain?" he whispered.

"I feel like I was kicked in the stomach, repeatedly," she told him, trying for a smile, "I'm sure you know what that feels like."

He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a breath. "I'm so sorry."

Chloe frowned and shook her head, "don't be, this isn't your fault," she told him seriously.

"No, I know, I just..." He swallowed hard, opening his eyes to look at her again. "Seeing you like this..." His voice trailed off and he looked down at their hands.

"I'm okay, Ollie," she assured him, doing her best not to move as she felt a sharp pain in her lower stomach, "she didn't even break a bone."

"She's not getting near you again." His voice was tense as he met her eyes.

She raised an eyebrow and shook her head, "next time I go anywhere near her, this will be the other way around."

"Chloe, she's dangerous. And clearly crazy." He gazed at her. "I don't want her around at all. Ever."

With a sigh, she shook her head a little, "I'll be ready for her if she comes after me again."

Oliver's jaw tightened a little. "She won't be coming after you again," he said, rising to his feet.

"Where are you going?" She frowned, wincing as she pushed herself to sit up but ignoring the pain as well as she could.

"Lie back," he told her quietly, frowning back at her. "Just rest. I'm going to call Clark and the rest of the team, let them know what's going on. Then I'll be right back. Can I get you anything?"

"No, go ahead," she said, her voice a little tight as the pain intensified, but she didn't want to let him see it.

His frown deepened. "I'm gonna send the doctor back in," he whispered, not waiting for a response as he headed out the door.

Chloe let out a deep breath once he was out of the room, closing her eyes and bending forward, wrapping her arms around her stomach and groaning as quietly at she could, she felt like someone was reaching inside of her and squeezing her organs. She stilled when she felt something wet against her hand and opened her eyes, looking down, her eyes widening in horror as she saw blood on the sheets, "Ollie!" She called, using all the energy she had left, bending forward more as the pain got worse.

He'd barely made it a few steps down the hallway when he heard her cry his name. His chest tightened and he quickly spun, backtracking to her room. "Chloe?" He stepped into the room, the air leaving his lungs in a rush at the sight of her curled into herself, at the blood all over the sheets.

Oh God.

Internal bleeding. Clark's words echoed in his mind. "Somebody help us!" He yelled, quickly moving to her side. "Chloe."

She turned, managing to lay on her side and curled up into a fetal position, closing her eyes tightly, it hurt so much, she felt like she was going to be sick.

"God," he whispered, not sure what to do.

Thankfully he didn't have to do anything as the doctor quickly came in, followed by a nurse. "What happened?"

"I don't know, she just started bleeding." He swallowed hard.

"Get the OR ready," the doctor told the nurse, checking on Chloe even as another nurse rushed into the room and helped him rush her out of it and down the hall.

Oliver swallowed hard, fear rooting him to the spot. "Please be okay," he whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: All That Never Was  
Authors: [](http://chloeas.livejournal.com/profile)[**chloeas**](http://chloeas.livejournal.com/) and [](http://dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com/)**dl_greenarrow**  
Rated: R. Deals with some sensitive subject matters.  
Spoilers: An AU version of "Sacrifice." We wrote most of it before the episode aired, and we went in another direction for this fic.  
Disclaimer: Not ours. Don't sue.

[Chapter 1](http://community.livejournal.com/chlollie/627583.html)

Chloe shifted slightly, her body was heavy and she felt incredibly sore, weak, tired, but also stiff, like she had been sleeping in the same position for too long. Groaning softly, she shifted, that was when she felt a weight over her hand and stilled, opening her eyes slowly, squinting as she made out who the owner of the hand was.

Oliver's head was resting on the edge of her bed, his hand covering hers and when he felt her move. He quickly raised his head to look at her. "Chloe?" he murmured. He'd been sitting there for hours, waiting for her to wake up. The doctors wouldn't tell him anything about what had happened, except that she would need time to recover.

She smiled a little at his voice and squeezed his hand weakly, closing her eyes again as she remembered everything; Tess, getting her ass kicked, the hospital then bleeding. She frowned a little at that, at least it looked like she was alive, that was a good start.

With a deep breath, she opened her eyes again, "what happened?"

"I don't know," he whispered, swallowing hard as he met her eyes. "They wouldn't tell me anything."

Chloe frowned harder at that, "is it bad?" She asked before she could stop herself.

"I don't know, Chloe." He sat up slowly, shifting slightly in the chair he was in. "I mean, the doctor said you were going to be fine, but he wouldn't tell me anything beyond that."

She took a deep breath and nodded a little, "I should talk to him."

Oliver kissed her hand softly. "I'll go find him."

"Thank you," she told him, giving his hand a light squeeze and sighing softly.

He squeezed her hand lightly in return and rose to his feet. "Be back in a second." He headed for the door.

Chloe nodded and smiled tiredly then settled against her pillows again.

A moment later, the same doctor from before stepped into the room, holding onto a chart, a grim expression on his face. "Miss Sullivan?"

She pushed herself up slightly against the pillows and nodded, frowning and glad Oliver wasn't in the room because the expression on the doctor's face was scaring her, and she was too tired to put on a brave face.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly, moving over to check the machines she was hooked up to.

"Tired," she told him, keeping her eyes on him, "what happened?"

"You're going to be fine," the doctor assured her, his voice still soft. "But..."

"But?" She echoed, her heart beating faster.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "But you lost the baby."

Chloe stilled completely, blinking and just staring at the doctor for a long moment, " _baby_?" She managed, blinking more and shaking her head, "what baby?"

The doctor grew still, as well. "You weren't aware that you were pregnant?"

Her eyes grew wide and she felt like she couldn't breathe, all she managed was a shake of her head.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I assumed you knew."

"Is that..." she swallowed, "the bleeding?"

He nodded slightly in confirmation. "Yes."

Chloe let out a deep breath but it didn't help, she brushed a hand over her face and looked down, trying to process the information.

"Is there anything you need? Should I have Mr. Queen step back in?"

She stilled completely, holding her breath, her eyes widening. She was gonna have to tell Ollie... all she could do was nod. She didn't know how she was going to tell him or what she was going to say, she didn't even know what to think, but he was obviously worried about her.

The doctor nodded slightly and headed out of the room, and a moment later, Oliver stepped back inside, a worried expression on his face. "Is everything all right?"

"I'm okay," she said with a nod, swallowing and keeping her eyes on her lap.

His stomach knotted. He could tell by the way she wouldn't look at him that that wasn't true. "Really?"

"Yeah," Chloe held her hands together and took a deep breath, looking at him out of the corner of her eyes.

Oliver slowly moved over to resume his place at her side, reaching out to take her hand.

She held his hand and looked down at their hands, "the doctor told me what happened."

"What happened?" he asked softly.

Chloe looked over at him for a moment, watching him closely and holding on to his hand tighter with both of hers, she didn't know what to expect, she had no idea how he would react, they had never talked about anything like that before, why would they?

"I was pregnant."

Oliver froze, then slowly lifted his gaze to her face. "What?" he whispered.

"I had a miscarriage," she explained in a whisper, her eyes getting teary even though she had no idea how she felt about this whole thing, "the bleeding... that was what it was."

He swallowed hard, feeling overwhelmed as he slowly sat down on the edge of her bed, his hand still wrapped around hers tightly.

Chloe shifted on the bed, making room for him and tightening her hold on his hand too, keeping her eyes on him.

"You're going to be all right though?" His voice was barely audible.

Swallowing hard, she nodded, looking at their hands again, "yeah, he said I'm okay."

"Good," he whispered. "That's...that's good." He forced himself to take a breath and let it out slowly.

"I didn't know," she told him quietly, "that I was--" she took a deep breath, "that I was pregnant." She felt like she had to explain it to him, she didn't want him thinking she knew and she was keeping it from him.

Oliver's hand tightened a little around hers. "I know, Chloe." His voice was thick. He lifted his gaze to meet hers once more. "I know you wouldn't keep something like that from me."

Chloe relaxed slightly at that and held his gaze, nodding then letting out her breath and looking down again.

"How much pain are you in?" he murmured.

"I just feel sore," she told him quietly. And numb. Mostly numb, overwhelmed, confused. She didn't know what to do or what it all meant.

He was quiet for a moment, and then he slid his shoes off. "I'm staying with you," he said softly. "If that's okay."

She looked up at him with big eyes and nodded, the last thing she wanted was for him to leave, "thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Chloe, I--" He drew in a breath. "I want to stay with you."

"I want you to," she told him quietly, her voice breaking.

Oliver's chest tightened and he hesitantly squeezed himself onto the bed beside her, between her and the railing. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm here."

She moved on the bed to make more room for him and nodded a little, "I know."

He gazed at her, his eyes filled with a myriad of emotions.

Her chest tightened when she held his gaze and without thinking about it, she reached to cup his cheek, "I'm sorry."

Oliver covered her hand with his. "Me too," he said quietly.

Chloe swallowed hard, her eyes tearing up again and nodded, laying her head on his shoulder.

He kissed her forehead softly, closing his eyes. "We'll be okay," he murmured.

She nodded slightly again and closed her eyes too, brushing her thumb over his cheek unconsciously.

"Get some rest," he whispered. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

She adjusted her position and wrapped her arm around him, sighing deeply, her back hurt, her stomach hurt, and her head was still hurting too, but she wanted to stay close to him.

Oliver hesitantly slid his arm around her, watching her face for signs of pain.

She did wince a little, but after a moment, she found a comfortable enough position and she was asleep moments later.

He watched her intently, his chest tightening as she slept.

She'd been pregnant. With his baby.

And now she wasn't.

He swallowed hard.

He didn't know how he felt about any of it. And he had no idea how to help her.


	3. All That Never Was

Title: All That Never Was  
Authors: [](http://chloeas.livejournal.com/profile)[**chloeas**](http://chloeas.livejournal.com/) and [](http://dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com/profile)[**dl_greenarrow**](http://dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com/).  
Rated: R. Deals with some sensitive subject matters.  
Spoilers: An AU version of "Sacrifice." We wrote most of it before the episode aired, and we went in another direction for this fic.  
Disclaimer: Not ours. Don't sue.

[Chapter One](http://community.livejournal.com/chlollie/627583.html) | [Chapter Two](http://community.livejournal.com/chlollie/634913.html)

Oliver glanced at Chloe sideways as he drove them away from Metropolis General two days later. His hands clutched tightly onto the steering wheel and he chewed his lower lip for a long moment. "I'm not taking you to Watchtower," he admitted quietly.

Chloe frowned a little at his admission, "where are we going?"

"My place," he said softly. "Is that okay? Would you rather go to your apartment?"

"No, it's okay," she assured him, trying for a smile then sighing softly, she didn't want to take the drive to Smallville, she didn't want to see Lois and most of all, she wanted to be with him.

Oliver hesitantly reached out with his right hand, swallowing hard. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "Are you hungry? Should I stop somewhere and get you something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry," she told him quietly, linking her fingers with his.

"Okay." He curled his fingers gently around hers, giving her hand a squeeze. They made the trip to the clock tower in a comfortable silence and when he parked the car, he climbed out, moving around to help her out.

She took his hand and climbed out of the car slowly, she was still sore and bruised from her fight with Tess and she felt like she was having a really heavy period, the doctor told her it would take her up to ten days to stop bleeding completely, it had been three days.

Oliver didn't miss the flash of pain that flickered across her face. "I could carry you," he whispered.

"I can walk," she assured him, "thank you."

"Okay." He stayed close to her side as they walked toward his private elevator.

Chloe leaned back against the wall of the elevator once they got inside and looked up at him, "do you mind if we don't... tell anyone? At least for now?"

"We don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to," he told her quietly.

She watched him for a long moment and sighed softly, "you're going through this too, Ollie, it's not all about what I want."

Oliver glanced at her and squeezed her hand. "I know. But I think for right now, keeping it between us is probably for the best."

Chloe sighed softly and nodded after a long moment, she would have to try extra hard to avoid her cousin, she would know in no time something was up.

When the elevator stopped, he guided her off it. "Do you uh--do you wanna shower or would you rather just crawl in bed?" he asked softly.

"Shower," she told him and made a face, "I feel like hospital, if that makes sense..."

A faint smile touched his lips. "Yeah, it does." He kissed her forehead, and then paused, gazing down at her intently.

Chloe held his gaze and raised her eyebrows slightly.

 

"Would you mind if I joined you?" His voice was soft. He knew they couldn't do anything, and he knew just asking the question was a suggestion of something far more intimate than just good friends having a good time. But all things considered, he was pretty sure they'd blown past that particular title.

She stilled for a moment, a little surprised by the question, but found herself shaking her head before she even had the chance to think about it, "not at all."

"Okay." Oliver reached down and took her hand once more, then led her down the hallway toward his bedroom and the master bathroom.

Chloe raised her eyebrows a little once she entered the bedroom and saw her overnight bag in a corner, "I guess it's a good thing I forgot that here," she commented but didn't stop to pick it up on the way to the bathroom.

"If you hadn't, we could've just had Bart or one of the others get some things and bring them here," he said quietly.

"I should be okay for now," she told him quietly, bending slightly to take off her shoes.

He reached out and gently rested his hands on her shoulders. "Sit," he whispered, nodding toward the closed toilet seat.

Chloe frowned a little, confused and cocked her head at him, "what are you going to do?"

He offered her a reassuring smile as he guided her to sit down, then knelt down on the floor, untying her shoes and slipping them off, along with her socks.

She smiled a little and shook her head, watching him, "you don't have to do that, Ollie."

"Yes, I do," he said quietly, lifting his gaze to meet hers. He rested his hands lightly on her knees.

Holding his gaze, she leaned forward carefully and hesitated for a second before kissing him softly.

Oliver returned the kiss without hesitation, lifting one hand to cup her cheek. Then he stood up slowly, helping her up once more and carefully pulling her shirt off over her head. His chest tightened at the bruises that covered her stomach and shoulders. He touched her face once more then let his hand fall away in order to turn the shower on, making the water nice and hot.

Normally, she wouldn't have agreed to this, to letting him take care of her like this, or to let anyone take care of her like this for that matter, but he needed it. She could tell he was incredibly hurt, upset, overwhelmed and confused by all of this too and she knew that focusing on taking care of her was probably going to help him, so she was going to let him and maybe it would even help her too.

He drew in a breath, shrugging out of his shirt next and then slowly undressing both of them the rest of the way. He stepped into the shower, holding his hand out to her silently.

Chloe took his hand and held his gaze for a moment then stepped into the shower with him. They had showered together many times before, and they had done a lot of things she had never even thought of doing before, but this felt more intimate than any of those things, but it didn't bother her, the secret they were sharing now was much bigger than this.

Oliver stood behind her, letting the hot water beat down on them. He dropped a tender kiss to her shoulder, then rested his head against hers for a long moment before reaching for the bar of soap. He lathered his hands with it and then began to move them over her body, his touches gentle and light. Like he was afraid anything else might actually break her. Because truthfully that was what he feared. That he'd hurt her accidentally and that was the last thing he wanted.

She leaned back against him, sighing deeply and closing her eyes. She still didn't know how to feel about the fact that she had been pregnant, with Oliver's baby. Six weeks according to the doctor, she hadn't even noticed anything different and she couldn't help but wonder what that would have been like. Finding out she was pregnant, having to tell him, she wondered how he would have reacted, but somehow, she didn't think he would have been anything other than completely thrilled by the idea.

Even if they weren't really together and even though they weren't about to declare their feelings for each other, she knew what family meant to him. Or better yet, how the fact that he never had one before affected him.

He directed her under the spray of the water, rinsing her off from the soap bubbles, then he reached out to pick up the bottle of shampoo--one she'd left there for when she stayed over. He poured a little into his hand and gently began to lather her hair with it, not thinking about anything, just letting himself focus on the task at hand.

"Thank you for doing this," she told him quietly after a long moment, raising a hand to rub his arm even as he washed her hair. He had done that a couple of times before, only it hadn't been exactly like this.

"You don't have to thank me," he said softly, pausing for a moment and placing a soft kiss against her cheek.

"I know," she said quietly, turning her face slightly for him, "I want to."

Oliver was silent for a moment, catching her eye and offering her a small smile. "Turn around," he said softly.

She did without questioning this time, just watching him.

He gazed down at her for a few seconds, then focused on rinsing her hair free from the shampoo, his chest suddenly tight with emotions he couldn't begin to name, let alone express.

Chloe sighed quietly at the look on his face, once he was done rinsing her hair, she reached for his side and pulled him closer, wrapping both arms tightly around him. "Let it out," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his collarbone.

He swallowed hard, hesitantly winding his arms around her, but careful not to hug her too tightly. "It would have been okay," he murmured, his throat feeling tight even as he spoke.

"I know," she pulled him even closer, feeling her eyes getting warm with tears, the doctor told her she would be more hormonal and sensitive than usual for a while, but she meant what she said, "it would have been scary, but I know we would have worked something out."

He rested his chin atop her head, closing his eyes. "I wouldn't have left you," he whispered. "Either of you." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I would have loved that baby." His voice was strained. "You know that, right?"

All she could do was nod as she sobbed quietly, pressing her forehead against his chest, "I know."

The soft sound of her sobs made him bury his face against her neck, his entire body shuddering.

She couldn't really understand what she was feeling, like she had lost someone, when she didn't even know she had been pregnant to begin with, if anyone had as much as mentioned having kids to her a few days ago, she would have said she didn't want any, how could she? Knowing that the world could end any moment, knowing about things like Checkmate and the Kandorians and all the other dangers that were out there, and most of all, having the life that she and Oliver had, their kid would be a target before it was even born.

But somehow she knew none of it would have mattered, that if she had known she was pregnant, she would have done everything to protect it, and so would have Ollie.

Chloe didn't even realize how hard she was crying until she sobbed loudly, her arms were tight around him as hard as she could manage.

 

He kissed her temple, his arms tightening around her just a little more, consciously aware of her still-bruised body. His tears mingled with the water pounding down on them, and every sob that wracked her body felt like a knife plunging into his chest. _They had almost been a family_ , he thought fleetingly. He held onto her as they cried together.

Neither one of them moved for a long time, but she managed to calm down, eventually and started rubbing her hands over his back soothingly, she had never seen Ollie cry like that before, so heart broken and she wished she could think of a way to make him feel better.

After a few minutes longer, the water began to grow increasingly cooler and he reached out to shut it off. Then he reluctantly pulled the shower curtain back, reaching out to grab the large bath towel off the rack. He dried her off gently, then wrapped it around her, hugging her again. "Feel any better?" he whispered.

She nodded, rubbing her hands over his sides, she felt cleaner, but she still felt heavy. "Do you?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Some," he said softly, brushing a kiss against her cheek, and then helping her out of the tub. "We need to get you into bed."

"Yeah," Chloe agreed, she hadn't slept well in the hospital despite all of the painkillers, "are you going to get some rest too?"

"Yeah." He hadn't slept well either, considering he'd been in an uncomfortable chair beside her bed the entire time she'd been in the hospital. He kissed her forehead. "I'll go get your painkillers if you want to crawl in bed."

"I'll just change and do that," she agreed, adjusting the towel around herself, "you should take something too, Ollie, see if it will help you relax."

He met her eyes for a moment, lifting a hand to her cheek. "I'll be all right," he said quietly. He didn't want to take anything and risk not waking up if she needed him, not to mention he had a tendency to over-do it when it came to things like alcohol and pills. Especially when he wasn't in control of his emotions. He kissed her softly, then pulled his boxers on and headed out of the room to get her pain pills.

She watched him leave then finished drying herself slowly, her back was still badly bruised and it hurt to rub the towel against it. Then she stepped over to the bedroom and found herself a pair of underwear and one of his t-shirts, she knew she had forgotten to bring anything to sleep on last time.

 

Oliver returned a couple moments later with a glass of water, her bottle of pain meds and a bag of ice wrapped in a towel. He moved over and sat down on the opposite side of the bed from her, handing the items over one by one silently.

"Thanks," she told him quietly, sipping on the water and taking the pain killer then frowning a little at the ice, "I don't wanna get the bed wet."

 

"I'm not worried about the bed, Chloe," he said softly. "Just you."

Chloe's face softened a little and she nodded, leaning in and kissing him softly, "I'm okay, Ollie." Physically she was, mostly anyway. She was more worried about him at the moment.

 

Oliver kissed her back tenderly, rubbing a thumb very lightly over her cheek. "Let's just lie down and rest," he suggested.

She leaned into his touch and nodded, taking a deep breath, "you too."

He rested his forehead against hers for a moment, then slowly laid back against the pillows, opening his arms to her.

Chloe smiled softly at him and placed the towel with the ice on the bedside table, she would grab it soon if she felt like she needed it on her ribs, then shifted closer and laid down on his chest.

Oliver reached up and gently stroked her hair with one hand as she rested her head against his chest. Despite the fact that they'd been sleeping together for the last couple of months, this felt like the most intimate they'd ever truly been. And as much as he was tempted to chalk it up to the circumstances, he knew that wasn't true. She'd been right a few weeks ago when she'd told him to be careful or she'd start to think he was falling for her. Except he'd already fallen.


	4. All That Never Was

Title: All That Never Was  
Authors: [](http://chloeas.livejournal.com/profile)[**chloeas**](http://chloeas.livejournal.com/) and [](http://dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com/profile)[**dl_greenarrow**](http://dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com/)  
Rated: R. Deals with some sensitive subject matters.  
Spoilers: An AU version of "Sacrifice." We wrote most of it before the episode aired, and we went in another direction for this fic.  
Disclaimer: Not ours. Don't sue.

[Chapter 1](http://community.livejournal.com/chlollie/627583.html) \- [Chapter 2](http://community.livejournal.com/chlollie/634913.html) \- [Chapter 3](http://community.livejournal.com/chlollie/638294.html)

Despite his extreme reluctance to leave Chloe--even though Clark was with her--Oliver found himself in the Luthor mansion two days later, his jaw tight as he made his way down the hallways. "Tess!"

Tess was sitting by her desk, she had been expecting Oliver to come by, especially after Clark did and demanded any and all files she supposedly had taken from the Watchtower, but when almost a week went by and he didn't show up, she figured he was too busy licking his girlfriend's wounds to bother with her.

She didn't get up, simply sat back against her chair and waited for him to walk into her office, "Oliver, did it really take Chloe this long to tell you what happened? I expected her to be on the phone with you the second she woke up."

He pinned her with a glare, moving toward her desk until he was standing directly across from her, leaning on it with both hands. "I've been a little busy," he said harshly.

The smirk slipped from her face momentarily, but then it was back and she pushed herself up, walking over to the bar, "please, Oliver, she can deal with a couple of bruises, she should be lucky I didn't feel the need to put a bullet through her head."

His eyes darkened. "She was pregnant."

Tess stilled, her hand around the neck of a bottle of whiskey and she was glad her back was to Oliver, because she didn't miss the use of past tense.

"Are you happy now, Tess? Are you satisfied that you killed my child?" His voice was deadly quiet.

She turned to face him slowly, her eyes slightly wide, "she never said anything, Oliver, I wouldn't have done that to her if I knew."

"Then maybe you shouldn't go around brutalizing people for no fucking reason!" He exploded.

Tess frowned, "I had no intention of fighting with her, she came back sooner than she was supposed to and I don't know what she told you, but she attacked me first. Again."

"And it never occurred to you that maybe you had no place being there at all?" He moved closer to her, his eyes dark with anger.

Her jaw tightened and she held his gaze, not moving back, "then maybe it isn't her place to have all that material on the Kandorians, material that Checkmate could easily access considering how sloppy your girlfriend is."

"Maybe you should shut up right about now," he said harshly. "Because I've had enough of this. I told you once, nicely, to stay away from the people I cared about." He was now standing only inches away from her. "You go near Chloe again for any reason, I'll kill you."

Tess' eyes narrowed, but she took his advice. She could only imagine what Oliver was feeling and she, for once, didn't want to make things worse for him.

"And I know you know about the others." He moved even closer to her. " _My_ team, Tess. And if anything happens to any of them, I'm going to assume you had something to do with it. Are we clear?"

"I have no interest in your team as long as they stay out of my way." She said firmly, not blinking as he invaded her personal space.

"You should stay out of ours," he warned softly. "And don't assume you're as in control of everything as you seem to think you are."

"You're repeating yourself, I already got your message." Tess told him, her expression perfectly blank if not slightly unimpressed.

"I don't think you have, but for your sake I hope I'm wrong." His jaw tightened as he gazed at her, his eyes intense.

She finally moved by crossing her arms over her chest, "if you're done threatening me, I have work to do, I assume you can find your way out."

A soft, humorless chuckle escaped him. "That wasn't a threat, Tess." He gazed at her a moment longer, then headed for the door.

Tess watched him go and sighed dropping her arms and rolling her eyes, "why didn't she stop me?" Tess asked, mostly to herself. She didn't think Chloe would be stupid enough to fight and risk her child. Unless... of course, she didn't actually know she was pregnant.

* * *

"How is she?" Oliver asked Clark as he stepped into the clock tower apartment and found the other man on the sofa.

"Sleeping," Clark told him, looking up from his hands to the other man before standing up, "what's going on, Oliver?"

"What do you mean?" He shook his head a little, moving past Clark and toward the kitchen.

Clark followed with a frown, "I know Chloe and I know when she isn't feeling well, I asked but she wouldn't tell me," he paused, "I heard her crying for almost an hour after she said she was tired and was going to sleep."

Oliver paused at that, then shut his eyes, his shoulders slumping a little.

"What _happened_?" Clark pressed, arms crossing over his chest as he frowned at the other man.

"We're not ready to discuss it," he said quietly.

"We?" Clark frowned more, "what did you do to her?"

At that, he narrowed his eyes and turned to face Clark. "I didn't do anything to her, Clark. Tess is the one who beat the hell out of her and shut down Watchtower."

That information had Clark pause and look at it differently, "is it because of Jimmy and the Watchtower?" He asked, confused.

Oliver's jaw tightened ever-so-slightly. "You know, Clark, maybe if you'd been around a little more and shown a little more concern for Chloe and her well-being before now, she would have already told you what's going on."

"Whatever it is you are keeping from me is hurting _my_ best friend and she's crying herself to sleep because of it. Stop keeping secrets, Oliver, maybe _I_ can help her."

He took a step toward Clark, glaring at him. "No. You can't. Not with this. There's nothing you can do."

"What makes you so sure?" Clark demanded.

"Because I know her. And I _do_ know what's going on," he said heatedly.

Clark just glared at the shorter man, arms crossing over his chest and he opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he heard the bedroom door open, frowning her turned to look down the hallway, waiting for Chloe to appear.

Instantly, Oliver moved away from Clark and headed toward the hallway. "Chloe?"

"I thought I heard you," she told him as she walked to meet him half-way, "you're okay."

"I'm fine," he whispered, nodding a little. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I was just tired," she lied quietly, the truth was, she had gotten tired of pretending she was okay for Clark, she had to get away from him until she didn't have to be alone with him.

"Are you feeling better?" Clark asked, walking down the hallway too, but staying a few steps behind Oliver.

Oliver gazed at her a moment, then hesitantly wound his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You hungry? I could fix something to eat."

"I'm okay," Chloe assured him then cocked her head slightly to smile at Clark, "thank you."

Clark didn't buy it, he frowned and stepped closer, ignoring the body language between Chloe and Oliver, "what's going on, Chlo?"

He kissed her temple and pulled away just enough to meet her gaze.

Chloe held Oliver's gaze and sighed then looked down and nodded a little.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, more than willing to turn around and tell Clark to just get the hell out.

"Yeah," she told him quietly, looking up to meet his eyes, "as long as you're okay with it."

Oliver reached down and took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together before he turned to look at Clark, his expression even. "Chloe was pregnant when Tess attacked her."

Clark stilled, his eyes going from Oliver to Chloe and widening.

Chloe swallowed hard and nodded, her hold on Oliver's hand tightening, "I didn't know," she admitted, not really able to look Clark in the eye.

He tightened his hand around hers just a little, as well. "We weren't ready to tell anyone when we haven't really dealt with it ourselves."

Clark stepped closer and looked at Oliver for a second, almost a silent request for permission before wrapping his arms around Chloe.

She winced slightly because of the bruises and looked at Oliver out of the corner of her eyes, giving his hand a light squeeze before wrapping her arms around Clark.

Oliver reluctantly let her hand go, his chest tight as he watched the two of them hug.

"I'm sorry," Clark said finally, looking from Chloe to Oliver when he pulled back, "is there anything I can do?"

Chloe immediately reached for Oliver's hand again when Clark pulled back, "there isn't anything to do. But thank you."

Oliver slid his fingers through hers once more, not meeting Clark's eyes. He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. "You should get some more rest, Chloe," he whispered, glancing at her.

Clark stared between the two of them for a moment then sighed, "I should go," he didn't want to leave, he didn't want to leave _Chloe_ , but he had the feeling neither one of them wanted him there.

He glanced at Clark for a moment, picking up on his reluctance, and not sure if it stemmed from guilt or distrust of _him_. "We're not really ready for anyone else to know about this," he told the other man.

"Especially Lois," Chloe added, looking up at Clark with big eyes.

He nodded slightly and took a deep breath, focusing on Chloe, "let me know if you need anything."

Oliver squeezed Chloe's hand gently and watched Clark for a moment. "We appreciate it."

Clark nodded, glancing at Oliver then at Chloe again for a long moment before speeding away.

Chloe closed her eyes at the strong wind then opened them brushing her hair from her face and stepping closer to Oliver, hugging his arm to her with her free hand.

He slowly slid his other arm around her, kissing her forehead. "You okay?' he whispered.

"Yeah," she assured him then took a deep breath and looked up at him, "how did it go?"

"Pretty sure we have an understanding." His jaw tightened just a little at the thought of Tess.

Chloe sighed softly and shook her head, squeezing his hand, "it's not her fault, Ollie." She had told him that before, but it hadn't make a difference.

"The hell it's not." He gazed at her intently. "She broke into Watchtower, she beat the hell out of you, she destroyed our entire system. Chloe, she's the reason our baby died."

She stilled at his words, blinking and looking away, she had reasons to give him before, but now her mind had gone blank and all the could think of were the last words he spoke. She wondered idly how long it would take for her to get used to the fact that she had been pregnant, and then how much longer it would take for her to deal with the fact that she had lost their baby.

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them, his face paling. "I'm--I'm sorry," he whispered. "Chloe, I'm sorry. I didn't...I shouldn't have said that."

Chloe shook her head, closing her eyes, "it's the truth," she whispered brokenly.

Oliver swallowed hard, his chest tightening as he pulled her closer to him. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't understand," she murmured, tears streaming down her face as she leaned against him, "how I can miss something I never even knew I had until it was gone so much."

He closed his eyes tightly. "I know," he whispered. God did he know.

She wrapped her arms tightly around him and sobbed quietly, "if I hadn't started the fight, this wouldn't have happened."

"No, Chloe," he whispered. "This is not your fault." He pressed his lips close to her ear. "Listen to me. She's the one who broke in someplace she had no business being. You were trying to protect the team. You had no idea you were pregnant. This is on her head, not yours."

"Then why do I feel like I failed... _it_ , like I failed you."

Oliver drew back just enough to cup her face in his hands, gazing at her intently. "You didn't fail me," he whispered. "You didn't fail anyone. It just...it wasn't the time." His voice grew even quieter.

Chloe held his gaze for a quick second then looked away again, her vision blurry as the tears kept coming, "I'm sorry," she whispered anyway.

"Me too," he whispered back, his own eyes stinging.

She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around him tighter, "I can't--" she swallowed hard, "I can't stop thinking what it would have been like."

He kissed the top of her head, closing his eyes once more. He couldn't stop thinking about it either. "Maybe we'll get a second chance," he said very quietly.

"When we're ready," she agreed quietly.

Oliver relaxed a little at that. "Chloe?" His voice was soft.

She just looked up at him.

He met her eyes. "I wouldn't want this with anyone else," he whispered.

Her chest tightened at his words and she reached up, touching his cheek, "I never even considered it before," she admitted, even with Jimmy, before they got married they'd agreed it was a discussion to have in another decade or so, "but I know we would have been okay, I wouldn't have trusted anyone else."

Oliver nodded slightly, leaning into her touch, then turning his head to kiss her palm. "I never did either. Not really. But you're right. We would have been okay. Because we _get_ each other," he said quietly.

Chloe tried for a smile at that and nodded a little, brushing her thumb against his mouth as she watched him closely, "we do."

"Come on," he whispered. "Let's get some rest, okay?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, pulling away from him and instantly reaching for his hand again. Maybe someday it would actually happen and she knew that if it did, it would feel right, as long as it was with him.


End file.
